Wacky List

I do not like the line in the play where the protagonist lists all the clever characters and circumstances that the playwright has concocted to befall him. (In case you missed it, folks!)

BEAUREGARD: Why are you freakin' out, man?

CLETIS: Why am I freaking out? I'll tell you why I'm freaking out! My neurotic mother who is dressed like a pig is waiting for me at an A&P in Appalacia, and I can't get there because my arranged Iranian bride has stolen my car to go to the taxidermist! That's why I'm freaking out!

I don't like it even more when the list is full of cultural reference points.

BEAUREGARD: Why are you freakin' out, man?

CLETIS: Why am I freaking out? I'll tell you why I'm freaking out! My Paris Hilton wannabe mother is waiting for me at a Hooters in Waco, and I can't get there because my match.com bride has stolen my Mini Cooper to go to NASCAR! That's why I'm freaking out!